Sling

Sling is the enigmatic, energetic hype man of mumble. His high crazy rating proves that he's an absolute mad man, willing to go the distance every time.



Biography
Sling was born near a canyon. As a child he was joined by Riley the dog, known Twitter celebrity. He's assumed to be a wealthy socialite with a penchant for glamour. He flies helicopters and owns an ice cream factory. One time there was a big fire in his canyon and he put it out.

Details
Sling has a dedicated Twitter presence and his stocks are currently up. A trademark of Sling's is to often make auditory brainfarts including "Big Trouble in Little Trild" and "In the crunchy side". He has cited Kuwabara, Younger Tugoro and David Lynch as influences with many citing Max Scoville as another. Along with Dangerlocker, he founded the earliest iteration of the group, "The Slinglocker Steam Chat Experience".

Riley the Dog
Sling's immortal companion, it is speculated that Riley is not a dog at all, but a demon wombat-dog fusion created in that same canyon Sling was born near by occultists and skinheads. Sling lures women and investors using Riley's seemingly innocent visage to his house on the cliffside, but when he's done with them, Riley sheds his skin and devours his victims' youth and virginity by rolling onto his back and shooting grasping tendons out of his nipples that latch onto the victims' wrists (Sling's super into wrists, I heard that once.)

When Riley became self-aware in 2006, Sling and Riley entered into a contract that Sling must post Riley pics on twitter, or be punished physically, but then have his mind wiped. To this day, Sling wakes up with scratches and bloodied t-shirts, amnesiac of the nights before when he fights for his life.

Scientists and Mediums are unsure how to break the contract between Sling and Riley, nor do they know the true origins of the demon-dog. But one thing is for sure: the Riley pics will never stop, and humanity is at risk.

